Goodbye, For Now.

Upon reflection of the time I spend on the Internet learning about other's lives by reading their blogs and such I have decided that for now I am going to stop.

As I look at my own blog, it doesn't seem to serve much of a purpose. It is meant to keep my loved ones (and my husband's) updated on my life's (and my family's life) journey. I find that the people who I am close to in my family already stay in touch with me very regularly. If there are some who read this that I don't communicate with, it doesn't seem to be strengthening a bond. It is like reading a diary and knowing great truths about someone, but they don't know you know and therefore, it is awkward talking with them about it.
I write OK, but it doesn't always flow and I have a lot of trouble articulating my feelings when I am very passionate about a subject. plus, I'd much rather talk to you about how I feel than have you read it and me not know it. I prefer conversations and some of my feelings do not need to be pressed into this world.


I crave interaction with people and have been trying to make the blog world fill that void. Truthfully, it doesn't. I have learned ABOUT so many people and their beautiful lives, but I am not really a part of them. In my life, relationships have been the most important. I have been able to hide within my home because of the simulated conversations and relationships the Internet has provided me with. I don't want this. I want to be out in the world, learning from it and exploring it firsthand. There are a few things I have neglected because of my affair with the computer, including (but not limited to) my business and work, conversations with my family, exercise, meeting and helping others and taking care of the community in which I live. Most of the conversations I have with people (not including my husband) are through the phone, e mail or Internet. While not one of those things is "bad" what I have done with them is not good. Now, I can't visit or talk on the phone everyday (or every other day) to all those that are important to me, but I could do a lot more without this distraction. Don't get me wrong, I think blogging is wonderful and I have really enjoyed doing it for the pas few years. I have learned so much from others and read about so many people and their lives that I would not normally be able to "meet." My life will be forever changed because of people like Emily R. and Angela. Their stories are etched into my heart and they have caused me many sleepless nights and the need for a lot of prayer and reflection. It's a good thing in that sense.


So, those of you that I cannot see, please call and I will do the same. For those that I cannot talk to, please write and e mail and I will do that as well. If I don't have your contact information and you would like to continue corresponding, let me know and I will shoot you an email or letter.


We decided that I would start this business and work from home so that I could better care for my family (that will hopefully grow) and the people in my community. I want to be available in my spare time, not sucked into the computer. If I do come back, it will be through my old blog. And if I do, believe me, I will let you know!

So, hello, really. Not goodbye at all!


Here I go on my new quest, Esse Quam Videri.


~ M'elle